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silent_bob
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 49
United Kingdom

Forum

well to represent me they're going to have to be on the tall and stocky side of things, and the ability to speak Brummie would be useful (though not an insurmountable problem). I think it'd probably have to be either or . could probably do a good job of me as well, and he has the distinct advantage of still being alive. smile
Personally, I wouldn't be confident that a machine that'd been compromised like yours was once again secure until I'd formatted the operating system, reinstalled from scratch, and updated both OS and whatever antivirus software you use. After all, if they've installed a keystroke logger, you don't know what else they might have installed alongside it (typically a hidden back-door into your system, known as a 'root kit').
There is another thought that I'll mention though, and that's that I would give serious consideration to reporting this to the police - whoever installed this is almost certainly after online banking passwords or credit card numbers (unless you have access to politically or commercially sensitive data and are being specifically targeted rather than being a victim of opportunity). They may be a bit WTF?, but installing a keystroke logger on somebody else's machine is a serious offence under the Computer Misuse Act, particularly if it's being used for fraud.
Oh, and if I were you I'd contact the providers of every credit card or debit card you've used on that machine, and your bank if you use online banking, tell them what's happened, and get new cards, passwords, etc. Do this ASAP, then they're responsible for the losses, not you.
Quote by Darkfire
Point taken DP, but, do ya wanna come explain that to my kid?
bloody news programmes rolleyes

Fair enough, I'm quite glad I don't have that job.
Quote by Darkfire
17 year old 'licenced gamekeepers' with air rifles?? slow agonising death for the bunny then rolleyes
My daughter heard this on the news - is now it bits and wants mummy to 'go save the bunny' :shock: , and ya know what? I'm daft enough to do it too.
£100 for the Bunny, alive.

I've seen the 'gamekeepers' on local TV and actually I think they're probably the genuine article, albeit at the bottom of the pile (it's not exactly a glamourous job, even by gamekeeping standards). They might be 17, but I bet they're pretty damn good shots with those air rifles, which if they're as powerful as they're allowed to be without requiring a firearms certificate (20lbs per square inch, IIRC) are quite capable of killing a rabbit quickly and efficiently, providing they hit it in the head. Given that they were both equipped with telescopic sights (possibly with night vision of some kind, I wasn't sure), that's not that unreasonable a thing to achieve. The allotments in question are quite close to houses, so I don't think a more powerful weapon would be appropriate anyway.
If they do shoot it, I hope it ends up in a pie or a stew (or both, given that it's supposed to be so big). I don't think using a humane trap is reasonable as releasing it into a strange area where it has nowhere to hide and no knowledge of the location of food is likely to result in it being shot by a farmer or preyed on by something that eats rabbits.
I know that some men don't like wearing condoms for what ever reason and I was just wondering what most men on swinging heaven prefer and would they go bareback?
Being perfectly honest, I doubt there's many blokes on the planet who'd say that wearing a condom improved sex, but personal preference isn't the only thing that dictates behaviour. Therefore, just for the record, the only person I don't use condoms with is Mrs. DP.
Also if they go bareback how do they gaurantee being disease free?
They don't.
Also are they not concerned about the risk of the woman getting pregnant?
Possibly, but considering that they don't seem concerned with their own health and welfare then I guess thinking about anyone else is probably beyond them.
1/ Does everyone really snog at the door? or can we stick to a hug or handshake if we want to confused:
Of course you're not required to snog anyone to gain entry to a munch, if a handshake's what you're comfortable with, that's fine.
2/ Clothes for men and women how far do you go in the sexy clothes stakes considering it's a social :?: Is it all bare bums, boots and bondage or just a pretty frock :?:
It's like a night out at the pub - if you'd ordinarily turn up to your preferred public watering hole wearing leather/rubber/pvc, then I doubt anyone's going to object strenuously. Having said that, they're not the kind of event to turn up to wearing thigh-high boots and a smile, save that for later wink.
3/ contributions, is there a sort of accepted amount to put in or no :?:
It depends - if the munch organiser sends 'round a hat for donations then put in what you're confortable putting in, if they've elected to charge everyone the same, normally quite small amount then they'll probably mention that when sending out PMs with munch details.
4/Does anyone want to take us under their wing and show us the ropes so we don't feel like complete idiots on the night :?: and no this is not a pick up, its genuine :!:
I'm not going, otherwise I'd offer, but I'm sure you'll be fine and have lots of fun.
smackbottom for anyone taking the piss, this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask.
The answer is that yes, the condom probably is too tight, and as others have suggested you should look for condoms designed for the wider gentleman. I've found Condomi XXL to be good in that regard - at least I no longer have five minutes of sweating and cursing every time I try to get the damn things on. redface
Quote by steveg_nw
I'm kinda guessing that for the age group they are gonna just be looking to see that the numbers they have given have been chucked in there somewhere and that they arn't going to be looking for them to have been used on their own.

Year 7 is eleven year olds? Who else remembers taking the 11 plus? They were definitely looking for more than just chucking numbers in when I took it. Click this link and have go for yourself ....................
11+ maths
Steve
9/10 - I was just about to put an answer for one when I ran out of time. confused
Not too bad, but then again I did sit the 11+, and passed it. smile
Quote by marmalaid
thanks lads, was never keen on vanilla
like something a bit more SPICEY! lol

Vanilla is the most popular flavour of ice cream for men I'll have you know. Never seen any chilli flavoured ice cream, have you?
Chili wouldn't work very well in ice cream - the fat dissolves the capsaicin and prevents you from tasting it.
It is, however a necessary ingredient in a fresh pineapple jelly (a Heston Blumenthal recipe, I remember him talking about it on Radio 4 a few years ago), where pasteurisation of the fresh pineapple juice with a whole chilli in the pan is used to deactivate the protease that normally prevents the jelly from setting.
Quote by Hillfolk
We can send you a pro forma NDA which would only be a basis of any case you bought to court for breach of contract.
Do you have enough funds to fight this case against the prurient press?

That's probably the most relevant comment that's been made - no point making people sign up to an NDA unless they believe you have the desire and resources to actually fight them in the courts. Of course, there's always the 'no win, no fee' arrangements, but you do need to find a lawyer who's prepared to offer you one, which may be harder than it appears (I certainly wouldn't want to rely on that possibility).
If you want decent, reliable, legal advice, find and pay for a lawyer.
Personally I'd be somewhat wary of going to a party where I was required to sign a non-disclosure agreement, and I can see that I'm not alone.
With the proviso that for an accurate answer you should probably consult a qualified healthcare professional, it sounds pretty reasonable to me.
Blood pressure rises when a person orgasms, and if you're mulit-orgasmic that would logically indicate a more prolonged period of raised blood pressure. If you've got particularly thin capiliaries or pale skin, then burst capiliaries due to this would give the symptoms you mention.
N.B. It might be worth mentioning it to your GP as burst capiliaries similar to the ones that you describe are characteristic in cases where somebody's been strangled or smothered - if you were unfortunate enough to go suddenly sood after a good session, your partner might find themselves under a lot of (hopefully) unwarranted suspicion if there's no mention of it on your medical records.
Quote by Dogz
Just treat me gentle girls !! but hay! i'm sure i'll manage. the question is ???? Can you manage me ! :twisted:

You sound confident now mate, but I wouldn't bet against these two lovely ladies eating you for breakfast. lol
By the way you two, is this tag team available for other bouts?
I'd like to express an interest providing I don't have to wear spandex or leap from the wardrobe.
Why not just keep the profile you've got and just place an ad in women seeking men? I sincerely doubt that anyone will mind, I've seen plenty of ads from couples who post in multiple sections because they play individually and as a couple.
I can speak basic conversational French and a very small amount of rusty German, in addition to a few key phrases in Japanese, Spanish, Russian, and a few other languages (nothing fancy, just hello, goodbye, how are you? kind of stuff).
A few years ago when I was a hardcore sysadmin I could type fluent HTTP, SMTP, and Postscript, so I could talk directly to web servers, email servers, and printers respectively in order to work out why they were going wrong, but they've definitely slipped my mind since I stopped using them on a daily basis.
One thing I would say is that I've found it a lot easier to work with human languages after I'd done a course for my diploma where we covered designing and implementing programming languages - the theory behind grammars and the construction of languages is the same whoever or whatever you're talking to (I was reading the same papers by Noam Chomsky that my mate who'd done an English degree had had to read), I suppose in that sense, I'm more interesting in linguistics than learning languages, though I'd really like to learn at least a bit of BSL.
Quote by glasgowfella2
Oh dozens but the most recent has got to be Jack Johnson, 6 months ago it was cool stuff now hes the next James Blunt !
Slighty off topic you know youve got eclectic tastes when your player on random goes from Metallica to Dave Brubeck
GF2
Enigma for BDSM is the bizzo

I quite like Jack Johnson, though I'll admit I have to be in the right mood.
Incidentally, did anyone hear the Radio 4 comedy program (I can't remember exactly which one, either the Now Show or Mitch Benn's Crimes Against Music) where Mitch Benn parodied James Blunt singing Love Will Tear Us Apart (originally by the mighty Joy Division, for all you ill-educated philistines out there)? It was amazing and disturbing in roughly equal measures, but a sublime piece of musical satire whatever.
My hair's been No. 1 all over since I was 20 and first noticed it getting a bit thin on top. It's also been a couple of feet long, but not since I was 17.
Personally I much prefer having cropped hair to long hair, though shaven is just a bit too far for me - it shows off all the scars, bumps, and moles on my head, and is bloody cold as well. No.1 seems to be the best length for attracting women who want to stroke my head (not something I've ever been known to object to), and I normally go over it once every couple of weeks or whenever I want to smarten it up.
I honestly couldn't go back to longer hair, even if I hadn't lost so much not that that's not an option - I don't own a hairbrush or comb, don't spend a fortune on hair care products (what's the point when I replace my hair completely twice a month?), and never have a bad hair day or wake up with bed head.
Quote by sheddy
All right, but apart from the sanitation, wine, straight roads and toga parties what have the Romans ever done for us?

Square houses and streets :shock: untill they turned up we all lived in round houses :smug:
oh and they invented concrete by mixing lime with volcanic rock dust then adding water making it perfect for building defenceive stuctures on coast lines as we all know concrete sets under water...............................................tell me if i'm boring you lol :lol:
Are you an archaeologist by any chance sheddy?
You sound like a load of my old housemates, all rolled into one (which considering they were all girlies, is quite a thought in and of it's own right smile).
Anyone for a Green Bastard?
The Green Bastard
Take one pint of snakebite, swig off approx 50ml (a mouthful), then pour in a double measure of Bol's Blue. Voila, one Green Bastard.
The adventurous (or insane) may wish to go straight for the Green Death*, achieved by making the initial swig into a gulp of approx. 100ml, in order to leave room for a double measure of vodka in addition to the above.
*Never trust a drink named after a Doctor Who story.

N.B. I accept no responsibility for what happens to anyone who consumes either of these. In the worst case you could pass out and either choke on your own vomit, or wake up next to meat2pleaseu lol.
Quote by andy2120
1 .why in "the games" they play hope and glory for the english national athem, while in interntional football & rugby - god save the queen is sung?
2. I have been told that "God Save the Queen " is the Great britian national athem, if this is case why is it sung for interntional football & rugby?

'God Save the Queen' is the national anthem of the UK, but since there isn't a single official one for England it tends to get used for international football and rugby (as the other home nations all have other anthems that they're happy using). I imagine they picked something different for the Commonwealth Games due to the Queen also being President of the Commonwealth (and Queen of Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and a few other Commonwealth countries).
I've never really had a nickname as such - the closest I got was the shortened form of my first name prefixed with 'Big' to differentiate me from any others who shared my name. When I went to Uni in Cardiff the prefix changed to 'Big Brummie'.
I did however notice whilst browsing a certain website devoted to putting people in touch with their schoolfriends that one bloke in the year above me was prepared to let the world know that his schoolboy nickname was 'Pigfucker'. :shock: I have no idea how he acquired it, and I don't think I want to find out lol.
Quote by Jags
Now Laird, you know the rules.... women don't come to men, men have to come to women. Play the game properly!
:happy: :happy: :happy:

Does this mean I can come in and snuggle up with Jags in the corner?
passionkiss sillyassionkiss:
Quote by marriedmale
Generally HP or Epson work out best for this IF you use aftermarket cartridges (IMHO)
The cheapest cost-per-page will always by laser though (B+W).
Hope that helps a little

Got there before me.
If you want to print in black and white, get a decent B&W laser printer. As a former techie I bought an old HP on eBay for a total of about £60 (it was a type I maintained on a daily basis for over a year, so I knew exactly what I was getting and how to make sure it worked correctly). The cartridge is £70 for a genuine HP, significantly less for remanufactured ones, but each cartridge does an average of 6000 pages.
If you want colour as well, a colour inkjet is ok for low volumes or specialist use (photos), but for moderate volume stuff these days I'd look at a cheap colour laser. Certainly if I were doing business literature in colour I'd consider it essential - laser toner is waterproof, for a start, and doesn't smudge or transfer when wet. If you have more than 1 printer (I actually have two set up and another that I want to add - A4 B&W laser, A3 colour inkjet, and I want to add an A3 B&W laser) then I'd recommend getting a network print server of some kind, as it makes the whole setup a lot more reliable.
Quote by firelizard
it says males have to have consent from females to have sex, well why not also females asking men?
also the goverenment say its only men to women so that mean its ok if its a bloke and a bloke?

Would'nt there be abit of a physical problem for a women to force a man to have sex?? doe'snt something else have to consent with a male apart from his mind???
Mrs L xxxxx
Depends on which set of caselaw applies - I know in some US states it's been accepted in court that a man can have an erection without wanting to. Having said that, who says an erection is required? IIRC, under English law you could have the case of a woman rodgering a bloke with a strap-on whilst he's passed out or incapable of consent due to inebriation.
N.B. I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice.
Quote by freckledbird
I don't think anyone was suggesting that the whole country holidayed at the same time. Not sure about other parts of the country, but in Sheffield/Rotherham there are still companies which close for two weeks during the summer holidays. They are known locally as 'works weeks'. I think that's what DP was referring to.

That's the idea, though with my dad it was pretty much all of his holiday that was apportioned like that - two weeks in the summer, a week at Christmas, and a week at Whitsun. I can't say I like the system, but it is one option.
IIRC, pretty much the whole of France shuts down for August so everybody can go on holiday, so it's not that ridiculous an idea.
Quote by candj
most schools do allow kids two weeks term time off at the discretion of the head...
I dont like taking my little one out of school...but did do last year for 4 days ..
To me i also think it is quite educational for kids to see different parts of ther world and experiance different cultures..so if ya cant afford to go away other than durin term time then its up to the individual.
Up here we used to have shipyard fortnight- last week in july and first week in August when i was growin up.( not that old tho ..lol) Due to my dad workin in the shipyards we had to have our family hols then . We cud never afford the prices to go abroad during that time...i missed out visiting the places we used to talk about at school and i really dont want my children to do that ...

I've been abroad five times in my life, and never further than central Europe, probably for much the same reason (though my dad had had a very bad experience flying through a storm in a propeller-driven airliner in his 20s and was never keen on flying after that, which may also have had a bearing on the matter).
as for the educational value of holidays, I'd certainly agree that there's potential there, but not if the holiday involves soaking up the sun on a beach somewhere and not a lot else. At the end of the day, all the law says is that you have to ask to have up to a fortnight's leave of abscence from school and that leave is at the discretion of the headteacher. I can distinctly remember one guy I was at school with going off to spend 3 weeks in Florida just before his mock GCSEs, which I think is the kind of behaviour they're really trying to clamp down on.
Oh, and one small aside. When I was growing up we used to go sailing on the Norfolk Broads every summer, on . At the time, they were owned by Norfolk County Council and used during the school term to teach local schoolchildren to sail (a very worthy use in my humble opinion). So , if we wanted to take our holiday of choice, we were required to take it within the school holidays anyway.
Quote by freckledbird
You are allowed up to two weeks' holiday time off during term time, at the discretion of the headteacher. So places where there aren't many staff, will still be able to allow staff to holiday with their children.

I think that neatly sums it up - there's no change in the law proposed, merely enforcing the law that we already have.
As for solutions to it, there's one old one - everyone could take the same fortnight off and simply shut down normal business. It's not perfect by any means, but I've worked places where that was what happened (factories supplying Rover - we took the same holidays as Longbridge, for obvious reasons).
Personally, when I was growing up my Mum was a teacher, so we always had to go away in the school holidays anyway. I think in 14 years of education I missed one day through being on holiday (a Friday before half term), and when my little 'un reaches school age I honestly don't think I'd want them to miss much more than that unless wherever they were going would provide an equivalent amount of educational opportunity.
Quote by duncanlondon
I knew a guy who kept a pet Koi carp, which he called Churchill. Churchill used to suck the guys cock in his bath. He got the name because the guys cock looked like a cigar in Churchills mouth.

:shock:
Eeeeeeewwwwwww!
I strongly suspect it's not illegal (if you actually read the Sexual Offences Act 2003 you'll see that that particular clause is very badly written - where it should simply say "don't shag anything that's alive and non-human" it has a list of specific prohibited acts and species), but that doesn't stop it being wrong.
It certainly happens to me, to the extent that they feel full (not swollen particularly, just turgid) and distictly heavier. It also started happening more often after I quit drinking, which is logical when you think about it (alcohol suppresses testosterone production in men).
We had three:
Bron-Yr-Aur by Led Zeppelin (as we walked up the aisle together)
Soul Limbo by Booker T. & The MGs* (while we were messing about signing registers etc)
Let's Do It by Cole Porter, covered by Joan Jett & Paul Westerberg for the Tank Girl OST (as we walked out after the ceremony)
* you may, if you know as much pointless musical trivia as I, recognise that this is the theme music for Test Match Special.