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Xjxkx
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 64
Straight Male, 67
UK
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by varca
I've used up all my sick days, so tomorrow i'm calling in 'dead'. confused
Seriously tho', one of our blokes rang up and said, '' I'm really sorry, but i cant come in to work today as i'm sick.'' I said, ''FFS, This is the fifth time in a fortnight, exactly how sick are you?.'' He replied, ''Well, really sick. I'm in bed with my 12 year old sister.'' :shock:
bolt

not funny.. in fact, quite offensive. rolleyes
Yup :?
It is always wise to think before you post XJXKX. That is just so NOT funny :!: :roll:
mad What made you think it was meant to be funny? :? :shock:
Do you see any laughing smilies?
Polo asked for an excuse and that was one, dunno
sorry if that offended anyone redface
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
I've used up all my sick days, so tomorrow i'm calling in 'dead'. confused
Seriously tho', one of our blokes rang up and said, '' I'm really sorry, but i cant come in to work today as i'm sick.'' I said, ''FFS, This is the fifth time in a fortnight, exactly how sick are you?.'' He replied, ''Well, really sick. I'm in bed with my 12 year old sister.'' :shock:
bolt
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by mdr2000
Without a doubt I would.. To what level would depend on the situation but I would get involved. I would never sleep knowing I ignored it! That poor fella could be anyone of us!
If we all took a stance in one way or another we would all benifit.
Mike xx

Totally agree :thumbup:
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
You know your getting old when you start having dry dreams and wet farts, and the names in your little black book are mostly doctors. wink
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Yeah, sounds good. :thumbup:
So who's a good organiser then?
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by dambuster
Is that like See you last Tuesday ?
:giggle:

smile :) :)
But will our months be safe? Or will they be renamed like Octember, Septober, Junely?
Think i've been 3d'd. confused
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by blonde
She's gone to bluddy India now! mad :x :x :x :x :x :x
For goodness sake!
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yeah, she has apparently decided to change her name and adopt the muslim faith to prove she is'nt racist.
She wants to be known as ''Yaffat Fooka''.
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Can 'Shoogle' please advise on what to do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant confused:
dunno
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Hate that 'ugly' word. sad
We would only class someone unattractive to us and certainly would'nt play with them if......
There dentist treats them by mail order....or
The Elephant Man would pay to see them......or
There pillows cry at night......and
If you look up 'ugly' in the dictionary...... theres a picture of them.
wink
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by kc
Hi, My advise would be. Forget the drink it will all end in tears, Have a cup of Tea and then say Lets get Naked.... Works for Me biggrin

Ah! Tea, the elixor of life and the answer to where I've been going wrong! confused
Thanks mate :thumbup:
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by felixx1416
What really happened to Elvis?
He died.
:P

what do you think he would be doing now if he was alive confused:
Probably trying to scratch and claw his way out. wink
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by naughtynymphos1
wouldn't bother me at all, infact i'd even ask them to pass some bog roll under :lol2:

What if they said no? :twisted:
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by naughtynymphos1
wouldn't bother me at all, infact i'd even ask them to pass some bog roll under :lol2:

So basically what your saying is "You could'nt give a shit" :shock:
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by freimation
i was an extra for thunderbirds in my younger days.

Yeah! But look what happened to them!
They melted mate wink
Thunderbirds are go. lol
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Just checked out your profile and pics and to be honest, you look like your made of plastic. Nice pic yes, but very plasticcy.
Are you really a blow up doll and having us all on? confused
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by swing_fun_cpl
But then saying that i am far more reserved when it comes to going no2 dunno not sure why,just am.
Nicky

Not sure why?
Would'nt have anything to do with the pharffs, the splatts and the 'having to flush 3 times would it? redface
Oh! and the pong. wink
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
I'm 6'4'', around 13 stone, slim but toned.
Some larger proportioned people may think i'm 'skinny', some may not.
Some smaller proportioned people may think i'm 'large', some may not.
To put it in simple terms, if it takes you two trips to get through a revolving door, then your FAT! wink
:thumbup:
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
851 & 814 :shock:
Erotic is using a feather.
Kinky is using the whole chicken. :twisted:
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Have you got your own personal postcode?
No!
Then you aint fat. wink
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Kellogs, Heinz, Yorkshire Teabags, Tissimol Coffee, these are just a few of the must have 'no compromise' products on our shopping list.
However, when it comes prunes, any make or label will give you a good run for your money.
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
When you quit smoking you'll feel better, smell better, and its a lot safer to drink out of the old beer cans lying around the house.
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
I've managed to stop smoking thanks to those special patches you can buy.
I stuck one over each of my eyes. Now I cant find my fags.
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by mazandden
Does anyone like them???
We are watching 'Hostel' at the moment - it's horrendous! I've come on here to distract myself, but I still feel sick to the bone!
Den, on the other hand, appears to be loving it!
I'm still part glued to it - is that the appeal??? Some horrors I quite like, has anyone else seen hostel???
m xxx

Personally, they dont do it for me, and I cant understand what the appeal is when all you have to look forward to, is to piss or shit your pants, or spew that chicken balti all over the poor bastard who's sitting in front of you. Maybe its some kind of fetish! wink
Oh, and btw, I know, I was that 'poor bastard'. :shock:
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Name Saddam Hussein
Username DICK_tator
Status I 'swing' alone
Looking for The bastard who pulled my lever
Activities Exhibitionism, Being Video'd
Profile Dominant, Have a fully equipped torture chamber if your into that
ps. Feeling stiff, anyone good at neck massage?
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Name: Zac Dingle
Username: Dingley Dangley
Status: With Lisa
Looking for: The next free pint
Activities: Pussy Poacher, Fun in the Forest.
Profile: Can travel and accommodate as have passion "shagging wagon''.
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Oooooh!!......Just got up and in need of 'hair of the dog'.
Hope you all have a happy and healthy 2007.
:cheers:
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by Mallock2006
no i'm curious now, what does mallock mean!

I know ner ner :bounce: :haha:
and i'm really sorry mallock but i really detest them sad
Why dunno
The las time i saw them which was the late 90's early 2000 they was ugly really ugly
And there was very little of them which made it very boring around certian well know place near a very well know airport in the east of midland with out giving it away to much lol
They havent changed much since their inception really but then thats the attraction of them to many........Grass roots and all that wink
Are they magic mushrooms? :lol:
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Xjxkx
Sexlightened
Quote by Mallock2006
MALLCOCK dont spoile it, the nght has aged a bit, it is still young at 15

Firstly the name isMallock
Secondly I think you meanspoil
Thirdly WTF are you on about dunno
WTF are you on? sounds more like it.
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