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delsutton
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 54
0 miles · Greater London
Forum
I agree. I can't personally see what advantage people think they are offering by just posting close-ups of their most naughty bits :-)
Personally I like to see a face because that saya hell of a lot about the person or people. OK, I can understand that a lot of people don't want to broadcast their face, but even so, a more general photo is more sexy than just a genital shot.
Personally I like to see a face because that saya hell of a lot about the person or people. OK, I can understand that a lot of people don't want to broadcast their face, but even so, a more general photo is more sexy than just a genital shot.
Hello, it's ages since I posted in here. Just split up with my GF of the last year or so and feeling very empty and sad. Anyone got some good tips as to how to move forward ... it never seems to get any easier!
Done the "much too much booze" trip and that's exhausted. Hoping to have a bit of fun via this site, but back to being a single guy, that really doesn't offer much
! So, any more practical tips?
Done the "much too much booze" trip and that's exhausted. Hoping to have a bit of fun via this site, but back to being a single guy, that really doesn't offer much
! So, any more practical tips? I've just come in from a day out in the sunshine and have borne witness to some truly horrendous sights.
I know we all have different body shapes and nothing wrong with that but there are surely flattering ways to display them, and then there are the more obscene ways.
In the space of 15 minutes while I had a quick coffee I saw two impressively-bellied guys in England shorts, flip flops and nothing else; and a woman wearing a bikini top with a gut-overhang (plus bellybutton piercing) and trakkie bottoms. And loads of other variations on the same theme.
I spent a bit of time in Italy last summer and noted that hot weather clothing etiquette is very different there i.e. most people actually cover up rather than disrobe. OK, I know most of the under 30s are fabulously fit and it's a pleasure to watch them at the beach, but even there the older fatter ones dressed appropriately.
Or am I just being a body fascist?
I know we all have different body shapes and nothing wrong with that but there are surely flattering ways to display them, and then there are the more obscene ways.
In the space of 15 minutes while I had a quick coffee I saw two impressively-bellied guys in England shorts, flip flops and nothing else; and a woman wearing a bikini top with a gut-overhang (plus bellybutton piercing) and trakkie bottoms. And loads of other variations on the same theme.
I spent a bit of time in Italy last summer and noted that hot weather clothing etiquette is very different there i.e. most people actually cover up rather than disrobe. OK, I know most of the under 30s are fabulously fit and it's a pleasure to watch them at the beach, but even there the older fatter ones dressed appropriately.
Or am I just being a body fascist?
I'm looking to meet up with a woman this evening for a chat, a meal and a bit of flirty fun and who knows what else if the mood is right. I'd consider a couple also if the guy is straight. No expectation of any physical interaction so perhaps this would suit exhibtionists as I am a comfortable voyeur. Feel free to drop me a mail if this sounds interesting.
Del
Del
Having had the amazing opportunity to go to a swingers club a few weeks ago I'm sure I would still be nervous going to a social, but nothing could beat how nervous I felt that night (even though I wasn't alone). Two double G&T's in about 5 minutes helped us in the door!
I'd be curious and keen to go to a munch though - I'll have to keep an eye out for some in the London/ SE area
I'd be curious and keen to go to a munch though - I'll have to keep an eye out for some in the London/ SE area
Quote by winchwench
Del, only just read this. I'm glad things didn't go completely tits up hun, but what I really wanted to pick up on was this
Sometimes I feel like she's the only person that I have a genuine rapport with, other times she annoys the hell out of me, but I still feel really fond of her. That's what I mean about thinking perhaps we're not right for each other.
That to me sounds like a marriage! And a pretty good one at that
*lol* yes, that has been commented on by us before in jokey moments! But I'm really glad the air has now been cleared and I can see exactly where everything lies now.
OK, I've bitten the bullet and just brought this to closure as quickly as I could (via phone)
The upshot is that nothing is going to happen between us, but much more importantly my disclousure won't affect our friendhsip, which was my main concern. She was very understanding and said "I can't handle a really lovely human being just quite yet darling" which may or may not be a real reason, but actually it doesn't matter much. I feel much better now having divulged my feelings and can (with time) get over this and move on properly.
Thanks for all those who urged me to act positively!
The upshot is that nothing is going to happen between us, but much more importantly my disclousure won't affect our friendhsip, which was my main concern. She was very understanding and said "I can't handle a really lovely human being just quite yet darling" which may or may not be a real reason, but actually it doesn't matter much. I feel much better now having divulged my feelings and can (with time) get over this and move on properly.
Thanks for all those who urged me to act positively!
Quote by aj1980
hi del...is she fit? :twisted:
Im only kidding..it sounds like this is a tough one..im going to be honest with you, and i think it sounds like there is more between you both than you both want to admit.
I know you said you both have very different takes on lives....but If people are totally right for each other, it would get boring...difference is good!!
Only question id have for you..is, when were you last with somone? (other than this girl?) Could it be you are just lonely, and pressuirng yourself to fall for someone?
If it isnt that id say, see how the next week or two goes, but dont leave it too long...you dont wana lose her to a guy on a dating web site..
And if you do still like her..TELL HER!! its better to be honest...(obviously dont propose straight offaparently that is scarey!)...if shes a good friend she will appreiate your honesty!! and who knows...it could go very very well..
Dont be hard on yourself for falling for someone...it happens to us all..
Anyway mate...good luck with it..i shall keep my eyes on this thread to find out what happens..
Thanks for the words of wisdom.
You're right, it has been some time since I've been in a deep relationship, but in a lot of ways that doesn't really come into the equation because I've been happy that way.
In other ways I understand what you say about maybe there being more there than we're both prepared to admit. Sometimes I feel like she's the only person that I have a genuine rapport with, other times she annoys the hell out of me, but I still feel really fond of her. That's what I mean about thinking perhaps we're not right for each other.
It is very difficult to call because on one level it does feel kind of unreal and I do regard her as my most genuine and close friend, but on the other I would hate to lose her to some guy on a dating site! I'll reflect over the next couple of weeks before deciding what course of action to take - and I'll let all you guys know.
P.S. And yes, she is fantastically fit!
Quote by Sassy-Seren
why arn't you right for each other?
I was going to ask the same thing. Are you both single? Are there any complications to consider?
Good luck
Yep, we're both single and on Saturday I was even taking her photo and helping her craft an entry for an online dating service, that's how much of a friend she is.
The only complication now is my stupidity in letting myself fall for her a couple of days later!
I went for about 8 years without crying but my emotions just manifested themselves in outburts of anger.
Last year I cried properly and I haven't had an anger outburst since. It all comes out eventually in whatever way is the easiest way for the mind to cope with.
I know now that crying is a far more immediate and effective way of expressing emotion so now I find myself welling up fairly constantly... thank god I can wear dark glasses without too much attention in these brighter days!
Last year I cried properly and I haven't had an anger outburst since. It all comes out eventually in whatever way is the easiest way for the mind to cope with.
I know now that crying is a far more immediate and effective way of expressing emotion so now I find myself welling up fairly constantly... thank god I can wear dark glasses without too much attention in these brighter days!
Quote by tabbi
Is it possible she might feel the same way but thinks that because of you being into swinging, her heart would not be safe with you.
Actually, it was her idea to go to a club, not mine! She was let down by some guy she had the hots for at the last minute and had got herself so psyched up to go that she asked if I'd go with her instead!
As to the answer to Darkfire, I think we have different aspirations and different ideals that we seek in a life partner... we have talked about this in some depth. Of course, I know it's never quite as simple as raw rational thought, but I do value her friendship more than anything else, so I would never want to compromise that.
Over Easter I spent most of the time with the best female friend I've ever had. I've known here since the mid-90s but we've become fantastic and very close friends since the start of the year (we even went to a swingers club a few weeks ago together just to see what it was like).
On bank holiday Monday after a great day together, she cooked me a fab dinner and we shared a couple (or was it more?) bottles of wine. We ended up snogging (yet again... it always happens when we have a drink) and we spent the night entwined in each others arms (again, nothing unusual, we've done it regularly for months). We've never had sex, in fact, it's one of those subjects that she regularly brings up saying it might be great but then almost immediately retraces her steps and saying it's so much more special not doing it. And I agree. Or at least I did.
I've been as comfortable as a mouse in a cheese shop with all this, but when we went our separate ways on Tuesday morning I had quick glance behind me and watched her disappear around a corner and I had this incredibly powerful rush of emotion for her, completely out of the blue. I've been an agonised wreck ever since. I do realise that I've fallen in love with her, but it's not good!
I think she is the most fantastic woman I've ever met, but at the same time I know we're not right for each other, but tell that to my emotions. What I need is some good firm advice as to how to deal with this effectively and get back to the feeling of being friends only.
Luckily I wont see her again for a couple of weeks as she is away so I've got a bit of time to sort this all out. I don't want it to affect what we already have established.
On bank holiday Monday after a great day together, she cooked me a fab dinner and we shared a couple (or was it more?) bottles of wine. We ended up snogging (yet again... it always happens when we have a drink) and we spent the night entwined in each others arms (again, nothing unusual, we've done it regularly for months). We've never had sex, in fact, it's one of those subjects that she regularly brings up saying it might be great but then almost immediately retraces her steps and saying it's so much more special not doing it. And I agree. Or at least I did.
I've been as comfortable as a mouse in a cheese shop with all this, but when we went our separate ways on Tuesday morning I had quick glance behind me and watched her disappear around a corner and I had this incredibly powerful rush of emotion for her, completely out of the blue. I've been an agonised wreck ever since. I do realise that I've fallen in love with her, but it's not good!
I think she is the most fantastic woman I've ever met, but at the same time I know we're not right for each other, but tell that to my emotions. What I need is some good firm advice as to how to deal with this effectively and get back to the feeling of being friends only.
Luckily I wont see her again for a couple of weeks as she is away so I've got a bit of time to sort this all out. I don't want it to affect what we already have established.
Could anyone here recommend a good fetish club in the South East? We're not looking for heavy S&M scenes, just more the dressing up side of things, gentle playing/flirting and a place that has "decent" music.
It's not always obvious from the clubs' websites what they offer/expect from guests, so thought a quick post here might give us a good steer.
It's not always obvious from the clubs' websites what they offer/expect from guests, so thought a quick post here might give us a good steer.
Quote by louise_and_joe
louise - try a quiete night, get used to the place n setout 1st xj
I cant get my head around the walking around naked bit. Theyre not all like that are they :shock:
I really need to get out more
Louise xx
Well, I can only comment on AbFab. When we were there, the only places people were walking around naked were in the Sauna and Pool areas. Everywhere else people had clothes (however skimpy) on. We did wander around to sample the different atmospheres, but felt the most relaxing area was the "safe" room around the drinks table zone. I'd imagine most reputable clubs would have such an area, but would be interested to hear if this is otherwise.
Quote by louise_and_joe
Im too scared to go to one
Louise xx
Well, my advice would be to be brave and challenge your fears. Both my friend and I were absolutely petrified beforehand and had to down a couple of VERY large G&Ts before we went, and we were still shaking after those! However, once we arrived we were made to feel really at home and we chilled really quickly once we were left to our own devices. Everyone we met was just so pleasant and no-one invaded our space at all.
Quote by razor_wire
i work in a club n know how hard & uneasy it can b for 1st timers !! glad u liked it, i hated my 1st visit haha j
Well, I guess we went with no expectations (or maybe just some negative ones) and we came out feeling radiant and positive. Hopefully we won't hate our 2nd visits!
Over the last 2 months I've converted to the dedicated healthy lifestyle and it's paid off a treat. I've come down from a tight 38" to a comfortable 36" waist in about 6 weeks. OK, I could always just about carry the larger girth as I'm tall and big-boned, but I feel so much better in my mind now I've lost some kilos. I've still got a bit to go, but I was told by a woman over the weekend that I've got a good body, so that made me feel top notch. I'd say stick to the healthy and feel the benefits. Plus, it does actually become enjoyable, eventually.
I had my first ever visit to a swingers club on Saturday and WOW, I'm still on a major buzz! It's most probably old hat to most people here but I just had to let off steam somewhere! It's not that anything even happened, but the environment was so fantastic and sexy and everyone was so respectful and friendly that it dispelled any fears I had beforehand. So, to anyone who was at AbFab last Saturday (and especially the organisers) thanks for making it so perfect for us as first timers (me and my bestest ever female friend - I was drafted in at the last moment as a substitute for someone who let her down!)
From my own perspective, the volume seems to be reliant on several factors: 1. number of days since last cumming; 2. delayed orgasm technique; and 3. muscle control.
1. I find that the optimum period of abstinence seems to be around 3 days. Any more than that doesn't seem to make a difference.
2. Getting to the "edge" of an orgasm, then stopping completely and squeezing the tip of my cock hard (and I mean hard!) causes an amazing sensation but no spunking. The key then is to leave it a few minutes (around 10) then build up slowly again. Repeating this a few times over the space of a few hours I find dramatically increases the amount of cum when I do eventually ejaculate.
3. When the moment of no return does arrive, actively "not cumming" using will-power and then using all my pelvic muscles can produce a huge spurt. This technique won't produce any more cum in total, but what it does is release the first spurt with more volume and with greater distance. I've never measured the distance but in a sitting position I've had it fly over my head, which may or may not be normal, but as a "usual" orgasm results in nothing more than a couple of inches distance it means quite a difference for me.
Hope this gives some help to the matter in hand...
1. I find that the optimum period of abstinence seems to be around 3 days. Any more than that doesn't seem to make a difference.
2. Getting to the "edge" of an orgasm, then stopping completely and squeezing the tip of my cock hard (and I mean hard!) causes an amazing sensation but no spunking. The key then is to leave it a few minutes (around 10) then build up slowly again. Repeating this a few times over the space of a few hours I find dramatically increases the amount of cum when I do eventually ejaculate.
3. When the moment of no return does arrive, actively "not cumming" using will-power and then using all my pelvic muscles can produce a huge spurt. This technique won't produce any more cum in total, but what it does is release the first spurt with more volume and with greater distance. I've never measured the distance but in a sitting position I've had it fly over my head, which may or may not be normal, but as a "usual" orgasm results in nothing more than a couple of inches distance it means quite a difference for me.
Hope this gives some help to the matter in hand...
I was having a pleasant stroll in the high street earlier on when I was approached by a gentleman in a neat suit who asked me if I had renounced the devil. I threw him momentarily when I said I had and that I'd also renounced his mate JC. Of course, that was a mistake and was immediatley reeled in.
It was all very friendly and I made my excuses and left after a few minutes of doctrinal banter and a parting leaflet, but it got me thinking that there is something a bit odd about people who feel the need to proselytyse their religious beliefs in public.
I mean, imagine if people started preaching about other aspects of their lives. It could lead to all kinds of interesting encounters. For example, I can envisage being accosted in the street by anglers who handed out live bait and persuaded you to turn up at the local river at 6am; train spotters inviting you to join them at the end of the platform at on Sunday as the 045 class loco will be hauling the express to Exeter; or SH with a small pitch outside Woolies handing out leaflets to passersby!
It was all very friendly and I made my excuses and left after a few minutes of doctrinal banter and a parting leaflet, but it got me thinking that there is something a bit odd about people who feel the need to proselytyse their religious beliefs in public.
I mean, imagine if people started preaching about other aspects of their lives. It could lead to all kinds of interesting encounters. For example, I can envisage being accosted in the street by anglers who handed out live bait and persuaded you to turn up at the local river at 6am; train spotters inviting you to join them at the end of the platform at on Sunday as the 045 class loco will be hauling the express to Exeter; or SH with a small pitch outside Woolies handing out leaflets to passersby!
