How does any connection begin? By finding, and talking, or being in the right place, at the right time. I only go for quality; someone with a genuine desire to discover whether the reality of her dreams and curiosities, can actually exist. So I read profiles, check locations, someone not too far away, and who sounds to want to know. This girl was 23, slim, size 8, 5'5" , long black hair. It was just after New Year when I saw the profile...and the image. She was in underwear, squatting on her toes, legs like a car jack, hands behind her head, head tilted so her long hair shaded her face, for now. The words tempted. Treated rough by partner, but wouldn't explore her desires, needs or fantasies, in fact he laughed in her face and told her to make an appointment with the local shrink. He couldn't be arsed with her. Told her to p*ss off, grabs his fishing gear and left, not saying when he would be back. Lonely, cold, two screaming youngsters and a laptop! Guys my age don't often have such finds, but patience, not being pushy, truthful, tempting lines, can earn treasure. Striking gold, was a good start to a New Year. So her profile image intrigued. Was she being intuitive, or just liked the position, I wondered. She had a Dom. Did she like him? He was only into demanding her in various stages of undress and to send him her images. A picture collector, if ever there was one. Her profile detailed a little of what she was searching for, so asked if she'd really thought about what was locked away in her darkest thoughts, if she wanted to. I know, I was pushing a bit, but said she wasn't under pressure, to tell me when she felt that she could. Then, my worst moment. She wanted to know what I looked like, behind the hood. A natural demand, but one which I've always considered was the put off moment. Put off, in the sense of didn't look attractive to a 23 year old. I couldn't deny the request. If honesty was my watch word, then I had to comply with the request. It had been a partying New Year. I looked a bit the worse for wear, unshaved, but took a selfie, bit the bullet and...'sent' it. "Well at least you're not a greasy pervert", came the reply, and she carried on chatting. The secret, is to listen. Let her talk. React to what she's saying. Understand her situation. Be realistic to her needs. Make a list of what she's been fantasising about, when her bf has been the usual arse hole, and refused to help her with the children. Those precious nuggets lay the foundation to an incredible connection. A sub doesn't want walking all over. She doesn't need barked orders (unless she gets off on them), from a wannabe Dom. They talk, exchange points of view, talk about everything under the sun that's important to them. If, and when, the sub feels comfortable with the 'atmosphere' that they create, and she feels valued, then she thinks more positively about the possibility of giving herself to him.